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Welcome to the Galactic News Service
Mummers Compendium #25
Posted by: Rick Bender, Guri-n Krayt
Date: Year 25 Day 204 Onboard the Fury-class Imperial Interceptor Desiderata One in system Abraxas (-43, -291).

On some worlds, the days are getting longer. While on others, winter has come. Still others are at the peak of the storm season. Yet in space, it is always a clear night and cold. It's that time of year once again for the annual Mummers Compedium. This year, our silver edition is spotlighting a single bounty hub. Czerka Corporation Bounty Tavern City on Abraxas I.

You cannot step into the same river twice, as my professor used to say. Sweeping reforms at the Bureau of Ships and Services (BoSS) have radically altered the way the galaxy conducts business. Even the bounty hunting industry will never be the same. The Bondsman's Guild still handles the clients, naturally. But now that paramilitary forces are able to obtain the licenses to gather their own resources and fabricate their own equipment, there have been a few changes in the agencies that handle the hunters.
 
I would like to take a moment on behalf of my sponsors and invite everyone to enjoy the fine family of Gallo Distilleries products, available at select bounty hubs across the galaxy. Please drink responsibly. If you insist on mixing, start with spirits and then switch to ales. Let the droid fly. Just let it do that.

Blue Milk
Banthas have thrived on the fertile prairies of Naboo for generations. The Ranchlands are blessed with a mild climate and abundance of food, and the banthas raised there are known to produce some of the richest blue milk in the quadrant. Ranchlands Blue Milk: The Taste of Prosperity.

Beer
Lianorm Lager is our house tap. A fine ale for the price, it has been described as a refreshing brew with a smooth palate and a skunky aroma. Lianorm Lager: That's Not Bad.

Dee'ja Peak is our premium fortified beer. Bold amber notes and a subtle hint of spice give this potent brew a unique character that appeals to the connoisseur. Dee'ja Peak: For the Sophisticated Thirst.

Spirits
Corellian Whisky is a cantina staple galaxy-wide, and our craft version is top shelf. Gallo Reserve blends a mellow, woody flavour with highlights of spice and a smoky finish for a small-batch spirit highly acclaimed by critics. Gallo Reserve: What Was the Question?

For those who prefer something a little less human, Great Grass Garmorrl. Millaflower, chak-root, pom seed, and bantha hide are slow-cooked, producing an aromatic mash that is bone-aged for a mature flavour. Great Grass Garmorrl: Rrargrarg!

Gallo spirits are not licensed by the Federation. Servers may not necessarily represent the management. Honour the Bounty Hunter's Creed.

Why a spotlight? Because it is tremendously impractical to inspect the entire galaxy with anything that resembles care. The major bounty hubs, hosting scores of agencies with supporting services clustered around, have grown to become reasonably accurate representations of the industry in general. Why Czerka Corporation Bounty Tavern City specifically? You're full of excellent questions today, dear reader. Because, in an effort to make the galaxy a better place, I have spent my own credits to staff many derelict properties in several major bounty hubs up and down the disc, but I have never rescued Czerka Corporation Bounty Tavern City. What I found here is the raw industry, untampered with by my philanthropy. This is the actual pulse of bounty hunting in 25 CGT.

The city itself is a mouthful, and it makes me want to pee. Those are my only criticisms. While it sits on the perimeter of the galactic hunting grounds, it's still a convenient haven if you happen to be tracking a fugitive on Kinyen or Tibrin. The sea breeze is refreshing, and Abraxas I is warm and comfortable. You can relax here. They keep a shield over it, but don't get excited; it's tuned to let hunters through. Just don't show up in a proton bomb. Supporting services provided by the Czerka Corporation are situated at the centre of town, with blocks of various interstellar bounty agencies surrounding them. Parking is abundantly available at either the Abraxas Municipal Landing Pad or Brodda's Hangar and Vehicle Service Center. I did make note of the casino and temple, although I didn't stray to those locations. I did, however, discover that the Abraxas Galactic Market Access Centre, run by Interstellar Parcel Service, is linked to the auction nexus and completely live. The Delta Tau Chi Campus of the Faber Academy was bustling with undergrads, and Czerka also hosts a puck exchange, if you know where to look. But the crown jewels are the taverns. Forty-two of them, if you don't count all the establishments that are still available or the three imposters who aren't authorised representatives of the Bondsman's Guild.

For new readers, the Mummers visit bounty hubs across the galaxy and rank each tavern with a three-star system. One star for the menu, one star for the atmosphere, and one star for service. While the Mummers are involved with various agencies as trade consultants, tavern renovators, and staffing specialists, the Compendium is judged objectively. I am simply observing and reporting to you what is really there.

The bad news first.
Almost every tavern failed the inspection. The walls were bare; there was no place to sit, and there was no reason to either. No music, no refreshments, no conversation—not even a local misfit to antagonize. Just a long line of abandoned buildings, devoid of life, with Guild holoterminals in the back. I spent far too much time standing alone outside empty storefronts, listening to the crash of the waves, and needing to pee. I very nearly had to break into my own private stash, but as fortune would have it, I did find civilisation at a handful of locations. In the worst cases, I found myself banned from a pair of inns whose names I will not disgrace by mentioning. Some feel that by refusing to permit me to inspect the premises, they have achieved a valuable goal. However, I came aboard a starship with plenty of time and power to conduct a detailed sensor sweep of the establishments, and I know exactly what they think I can't see. They don't want me to know that their buildings are also completely derelict. You know who you are.

At another location, I at least found droids, but the service they provided was not to me. Other bounty hunters aren't quite as shy as I am. I was raised on Naboo by a private family to be a private person. Logging my travels with sentry droids as I weave my way around the galaxy violates my privacy, and I'm personally a little uncomfortable with being tracked. It felt like I had somehow violated the Jensaarai's trust just by stepping through the threshold. I might understand if I had found some kind of exclusive lounge within, but there was really nothing there to protect.

I'm willing to give Two Stars to Mirj'ontaf'fermen's Soggy Rodian Taproom, solely on the merit that it is Czerka's own. You can tell by the long name. While I found no attractions inside the tavern itself, a plaque in the foyer did identify the bar as having been featured in a GNS article from 23 CGT, and that technically counts as atmosphere. The services available outside of the tavern all happen to be hosted by Czerka Corporation (⯌⯌) as well, and that should actually be worth something.

What was previously the Argent Company is now the Mandalore ARCO (⯌⯌) brand. The ownership may have changed, but only very slightly, and I found Abraxas Skiptrace to be just as dependably Mandalorian as every other ARCO location I've ever visited. Two Stars for the menu and the atmosphere. Simple, practical decor and a strong selection with an emphasis on cultural brews. The black ale is particularly good, and I'm obsessed with the bartender Risa's accent. I'm told she was raised on Concord Dawn.

The eXiles (⯌⯌) gave me a pleasant break from the ghost-town theme as well. At first, I thought it was another bust, but around the back, near the Guild terminal, I found where they had set up the bar. A lady named Satana was tuning her hallikset, and I was told she would be performing later in the evening for the local staff once the shifts changed. It gave me a glimmer of hope that one of the agencies was competing for attention with live entertainment. Maybe people party here after all? Two Stars for the Homeless Niffler's menu and atmosphere.

That brings us to the Salty Sapphire. The agency now known as the Dragon Cabal (⯌⯌⯌), formerly the Guardians of Kiffu, is clearly under the same management. Their products and ambience haven't changed since the last time I awarded them Three Mummer Stars for outstanding service. The bartender Nira builds a drink like an artist who paints with alcohol. Novice drinkers beware; they are stronger than they taste. I met a guy at the Salty Sapphire who was from another company and asked if he knew her secret. I think he offered to fight me. I'm not sure what that was about. I had to decline. I don't carry a dejarik board everywhere, but I should; it's probably cheaper than buying drinks.

Then the good news.
There is a new Mummer Three-Star-rated bounty hub in town. The Lazy Krayt, operated by some personal associates of mine, the order of the Guri-n Krayt (⯌⯌⯌). Bias, corruption, and bribery, you cry? I give them no credit that they have not earned for themselves. Just scout it, and you will see that the Guri-n-Krayt has gone above and beyond for you, the hard-working hunter out on the hyperlanes. With Twi'lek girls, droid-assisted bottle service, live bands, luxurious decor, and Gallo Distilleries products delivered directly from the Enarc Run each week, it's pretty obvious who the other clubs are trying to compete with. I'm not just an associate; I'm also a patron.

This is Laurentius Yolo for the Mummers Compendium. Party on.


[Main Page]
Events in Brief
Year 25 Day 286: Jawa Offworld Enterprises is now widely recognized as the most likely to stabilize the situation on Ruuria Asteroid Ring I, and has been offered aid and recognition by most of the galaxy's major powers.
Year 25 Day 286: Throkus Kael, the leader of The Zann Consortium was replaced today by Dax Owok.